Thursday, August 28, 2008

The Sacred and the Mundane

The Sacred and the Mundane

Why do we assign value to the parts of our lives, creating lists of Really Good Things, below that, Stuff That Just Happens, and way at the bottom, Junk We Get Through? There is a mindset that says that we work hard to get to the Good Things, and put up with all the other in order to get there. What happened to the value of everyday things?

For instance, as a home school mom, I find I have to “get through” those tedious days of memorizing the multiplication tables, or the screaming, hair-pulling days of complete rebellion (mine and my son's!). I stand it because there are those moments of crystal clarity, the times where you hold your breath and absorb the moment – that moment when he “gets it” or sees life in a new way, or melts your heart with thankfulness.

But what about the ordinary? Are there any rewards in Heaven for those of us that don't climb mountains or write novels or sing arias? Do we get credit for just doing our calling? Is the ordinary sacred?

I know we do, and it is. Think about the Levites, that special group of Hebrews who were set apart to keep the Tabernacle in the wilderness. They had different rules, were supported by the rest of the tribe – they were special! But think more about it. Besides caring for all the gold stuff, and doing the daily offerings, they had to maintain the Tabernacle. Let's really think about this. It was a goat hair tent, set up in the middle of the desert, where lots of people walked in and out and lots of butchering went on. They had to be janitors! In a really dirty environment! Do you think this was Junk To Get Through in order to be important Levities? No! This was as sacred to God as the rest of it.

So where do we go with this? I believe to to live life abundantly, we must live it fully. We should be as present in the mundane as in the amazing. Washing dishes can be a sacrament. Tucking in your children at night with love is an act of worship to their Creator. Simply being aware of what we are doing and why we are doing it can be as satisfying as the highest praise from someone else. Take time today to find the sacred. It's all around you, filling your life, but you must look for it.

Wednesday, July 30, 2008

Red visits friends

Orange vacations on the coast

Why Gummi Bears?

Good question? I spent the last week at Abbott Northwestern, some of it in a coma, most of it in the ICU and many days on a ventilator. If you've ever been on a ventilator, it gives you a tremendously sore throat. My mom brought me gummi bears to suck on; they are very soothing on the throat. So the pay back the helpful bears, I'm giving them a chance to experience the finer things in life, just like Flat Stanley.

Green Gummi at the Street Rod show

Tuesday, June 17, 2008

The Need to Look Forward

I found a fascinating first-person story of a woman's journey through stroke and recovery. It is word-for-word excerpts from her diary, interspersed with entries by her neurologist, Louis R. Caplan, professor of neurology at Harvard Medical School. He writes this:

Those who dwell on their handicaps trap themselves in the idea that they must be exactly as they were before the stroke. They remain eternal patients and often forget to live...Successful people do not swell on this loss of capabilities. They emphasize different directions. With time comes experience and changes in goals. directions and activities. Our lives are a series of changing passages.

Friday, June 13, 2008

Progress Report!

I've been feeling tremendously sorry for myself because I can't think or type and work as fast as I used to. I am dyslexic and forgetful. I am now one of the ranks of people with ADD. If I get more than 2 feet away from the task I was doing, I get distracted by something else and wander off. I've realized that if I want to keep track of what I'm doing I have to write it down.

I drove around today to do errands. I carefully wrote out each destination, and what I needed to do or get there. After completion I checked each thing off. Guess what? Success! I came home with everything I needed to get, didn't take any wrong turns or get sidetracked! I'd even picked up some more books about stroke from the library. I didn't realize there were any I hadn't read yet. As I sat on the couch having my coffee and skimming the book, it dawned on me. I was SKIMMING the book. I couldn't do that 2 months ago. In order to keep continuity I needed to read each and every word. Today I picked out the portions I was interested in, effortlessly!

Woohoo!

Wednesday, June 11, 2008

Knitting Neurons

It's been a fascinating journey so far, through CVA (cerebral vascular accident, or stroke) into recovery. There are so many parts to this. The acute medical issues, the lingering physical deficits, the psychological understanding and acceptance and now the intellectual processing glitches.

Immediately after the stroke I had numbness and "lost-ness" of my left hand and arm. I really sometimes forgot that parts of it were there. I could move everything, if I looked at it specifically, but unless I consciously "inhabited" those fingers, they just dropped off my neural map. I had quite a bit of balance trouble. Having been a skater and diver in my younger years, a strong sense of kinesthetics was always a part of me. I always knew where I was in space. To not be able to stand on one foot for even 3 seconds was incredibly frustrating. To close my eyes and immediately tip over seemed ridiculous, for someone who used to be able to spin in several directions.

The sensory overwhelm was another problem. Standing in a crowded foyer at church, with all the voices and movement and bodies made my head spin. Standing at the top of the stairs and looking at the vast space of the entryway was another spin-producer.

Physically, I have improved dramatically. My fingers are all "there", most of the time. Sometimes I realize I am not using them, and then I make a conscious effort to inhabit them once again. I can stand on one foot, a necessary skill in everyday life(!) Why I consider that such a big deal, I don't know.

Internally I've had to process and accept the idea that I'm damaged goods. I really believed that I had "dodged a bullet" and would be just fine. For some reason the results of a vision test that showed I have a vision loss in my lower left quadrant was hardest to take. It hit home then that, yes, parts of my brain ARE gone. I told a friend I was having trouble with that, and that I had hoped to get through this unscathed. She said, "None of us get through life unscathed." Wow. (Thanks, Kate.) It put it in perspective and somehow I immediately felt okay with it.

Lately the challenges I'm facing have to do with intellectual processing. I've always been a very "left-brain" thinker; analytical, linear, detailed, but at the same time my subconscious was working in creative, outside the box ways. I could work at some problem methodically and step-by-step, only to have some unique solution just pop into my head. The right brain functions were doing their thing, behind the scenes. I've noticed that seems to be lacking, perhaps because the brain injury is on the right side of my noggin. I will plod along at something, working and working, even when it's not working, thinking if I just keep doing it, it will fix itself. That creative spark is not there.

I am not tremendously worried about that at this point, (for one thing, what would that accomplish),and for another, I have made enormous strides in my recovery in the other areas, so I'm sure this will improve also. Just to hedge my bets, I'm doing as much right-brain stuff as I can, to exercise that part, and as my friend Martha said, knit some neurons. (Love that phrase!

Thursday, May 1, 2008

Goodbye, Scotty


Scott MacRunnel, you died too young. You were a shining star in the night sky. The nights are darker now. You will continue to shine in our hearts, and your light continues even now.

Sunday, April 27, 2008

No Screen, No Fun.

Carnival of Homeschooling: Homeschool kids can entertain themselves! After an episode of defiance and general naughtiness, D. was punished with "no screen" for all of today. That means no TV, computer or video games. He thought he'd be miserable all day with NOTHING TO DO!!!!

So far today he has scooped the algae out of the pond, dug up a dead fish to see how it was decomposing, made a ransom note out of letters clipped from a magazine, created characters from his tangram pieces, taken his bike apart, drawn cartoons, jumped on the trampoline, fed and watered the dogs, and put away his tent.

Poor baby.

Saturday, April 26, 2008

Stroke-Dome


(With apologies to Mad Max and Tina Turner.) I've been having trouble with my left hand due to my stroke. After dropping several things yesterday, I came up with a new movie scene: Stroke-Dome. "Two hands enter, one hand leaves."

Okay, so my husband thought it was funny.

Friday, April 25, 2008

Green Movement as Religion

The green movement seems harmless at it's worst, and "good for the earth" at it's very best. But it has taken on all the trappings, mind-control and power-hunger of the worst religious or philosophical dogmas.

Read an essay here that explains.

Whatever it is, I'm against it.

I believe some hidden cameras captured the Minnesota congress at work. See the video here!

Whatever it is, I'm against it

Rainy April Friday


I'm trying to learn more than point and shoot photography. Here is an attempt to change depth of field. Keep in mind the raindrops are really a very fine mist, taken from about 6 inches away.

Make a Mix Cooking


Here's a weekend worth of work!

EZ Laundry Soap


This is the easiest and cheapest way to make your own laundry detergent.


Grind up one bar of soap. I use my salad shooter, but a food processor or even a cheese grater would work. Add one cup washing soda, one cup borax. Stir it up and use 1/8 cup per load. It will not suds much, unless you use hot water. It will wash in cold water. Gets out just about everything!

Friday, April 11, 2008

Apr. 11, 2008 - Vision Loss-Online test

I took an online visual field test and it did show that I have a blind spot in my lower left quadrant. I thought so, since some things disappear if I look out of the corner of my eye.

Try it yourself here Vision Loss test. They will email you your results in a graph format. Interesting stuff!

I see my neurologist next week, and will let you know what I discover.

Friday, March 28, 2008

Mar. 28, 2008 - Life after a stroke

Is not that much different. I have some physical and neurological deficits, but nothing that keeps me from my daily activities. I have some dyslexia with numbers and letters, I get "lost" visually, that is, I can pick out details but can't always grasp the whole.

My balance is much better than it was, and my manual dexterity is improved.

Why me? I have no idea. Why I was spared the catastrophic damage that could have occured, I don't know. I believe God knew I had work yet to do as a mom and a wife.

Life after a stroke

Mar. 28, 2008 -
Is not that much different. I have some physical and neurological deficits, but nothing that keeps me from my daily activities. I have some dyslexia with numbers and letters, I get "lost" visually, that is, I can pick out details but can't always grasp the whole.
My balance is much better than it was, and my manual dexterity is improved.
Why me? I have no idea. Why I was spared the catastrophic damage that could have occurred, I don't know. I believe God knew I had work yet to do as a mom and a wife.

Thursday, February 28, 2008

Sunday, February 24, 2008

Carpe Cranium

Feb. 24, 2008 1:08 PM My new motto for life
Seize the brain, what little is left of it!

Friday, February 22, 2008

Loopier Yet

Life is never dull on Loon Loop. On Feb 10, Sunday morning, while I was singing in worship team, I suffered a massive stroke. I am doing well, considering what the outcome could have been. I have some motor and balance problems, but am in intensive therapy and getting better.

Loopier Yet

Feb. 22, 2008 - Life is never dull on Loon Loop. On Feb 10, Sunday morning, while I was singing in worship team, I suffered a massive stroke. I am doing well, considering what the outcome could have been. I have some motor and balance problems, but am in intensive therapy and getting better.

Summer Iris

Summer Iris